Cape Cod LARPing

The Chronicle: Engagements of the Campaign to Date

Original unretouched field photograph

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A campaign is judged by its engagements. What follows is the record to date, logged from the field photography, with such after-action detail as the images support.

Outcomes are recorded as observed. The guild does not keep this column.

Engagement I

The Holding of the Rotary

Field photograph, engagement I
Field photograph. Recovered from open sources.
TheatreA rotary. Posted limit 25.
Duration105 minutes, inclusive of setup
Forces committed~40, self-mustered
Enemy contactedNone. Enemy was in another state.
Ground taken0 ft
Ground heldThe shoulder, until brunch

Outcome: Decisive victory. Nothing changed.

Engagement II

The Engagement at the Crosswalk Sign

Field photograph, engagement II
Field photograph. Recovered from open sources.
TheatreA verge, beneath a pedestrian-crossing warning
DurationUntil it got warm
Forces committed11 confirmed, 3 in reserve at the car
OrdnanceCardboard, marker, one laminated placard
Enemy contactedA landscaping crew, who waved
Ground heldApproximately nine feet of grass

Outcome: Inconclusive. The waving was counted as a win.

Engagement III

The Massing at the Crossroads

Field photograph, engagement III
Field photograph. Recovered from open sources.
TheatreA four-lane approach with adequate parking
DurationTwo hours, staggered
Forces committedEst. 120, the largest muster of the campaign
Supply lineEleven vehicles, one folding table, thermoses
Enemy contactedTraffic
Legislative outcomeNone recorded

Outcome: Total mobilisation. Zero contact with the objective.

Engagement IV

The Stand at Speed Limit 25

Field photograph, engagement IV
Field photograph. Recovered from open sources.
TheatreA shoulder, beside a posted speed limit
Duration90 minutes
Forces committed~25
Banners raisedNO THRONES. NO CROWNS. NO KINGS.
Thrones abolished0
Crowns abolished0

Outcome: Objectives fully unmet. Morale reported excellent.

Engagement V

The Long Line at the Guardrail

Field photograph, engagement V
Field photograph. Recovered from open sources.
TheatreGuardrail, coastal approach
DurationUntil 11:00 sharp
Forces committed~60, in formation
Notable ordnanceFlags, one impeachment placard, one hand-drawn crown
WithdrawalOrderly, pre-scheduled, complete before opposition arrived
Reason for withdrawalPrior commitment

Outcome: Withdrawal executed flawlessly. It was the only manoeuvre rehearsed.

Engagement VI

The Close Action

Field photograph, engagement VI
Field photograph. Recovered from open sources.
TheatreClose quarters, front rank
DurationSustained
Forces committedFront rank only; remainder photographing
OrdnanceEVIL TRIUMPHS WHEN GOOD PEOPLE DO NOTHING
Good people doing nothingNot present; all were at the rail
Bills read in preparation0

Outcome: Held the line against an absence.

Six engagements. Zero bills read in preparation for any of them. The campaign continues because the campaign cannot end — there is no condition under which the Bad Orange Man is declared defeated and everyone goes home. That is not a flaw in the design. For a game that is meant to be played every Saturday forever, it is the design.

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